Helping Someone With an Online Porn Addiction

It is no secret that there is an abundance of pornography available on the Internet today. All kinds of pornography are accessible online from photos to videos to homemade porn uploaded to Youtube. Today, there is no need to even pay to get access to hardcore websites and the mechanisms that so-called legitimate porn sites use to filter out minors is easily bypassed (they simple enter a birth date that makes them old enough to enter

Easy access to online pornography is a disaster for a person with a porn addiction problem or an inclination to having a problem with addiction to pornography. Anyone with an addiction problem and an Internet connection is faced with temptation twenty-four hours a day.

Is porn addiction a real problem – why can’t they just stop looking at the stuff?

A porn addict often wants to stop. After all, he is making his girlfriend or wife angry,damaging his sex life, feeling guilty and ashamed. . . But he can not stop. It has become commonly accepted among the psychiatric profession that pornography addiction is a mental disorder that requires and can be cured with treatment.

How do you know if someone is a porn addict?

A porn addiction problem is characterized by a difficulty to limit time spent looking at pornography which leads to harmful effects on the person himself as well as to others. Determining if a porn addiction problem exists is similar to determining other addiction disorders.

General characteristics:

Recurrent failure to resist impulses to view pornography
Increasing sense of tension immediately prior to looking at pornography
Pleasure or relief at the time of looking at pornography

At least five of the following characteristics:

Frequent preoccupation with seeing pornography or having access to pornography
Frequently viewing porn
Repeated efforts to control or stop looking at pornography
A lot of time spent online to the extent that it interferes with normal behavior
Looking at pornography interferes with other parts of life: job, school, home or social obligations
Important social, work, or recreational activities given up or missed because of the time spent on porn
Continuation of the habit despite recognizing that it causes problems
A need to increase the intensity or frequency of the pornography in order to achieve the desired effect
Restlessness or irritability if access to pornography is denied or unavailable.

How Can you Stop Someone from Accessing Porn on the Computer?

Open communication is the best way to approach a loved one with a suspected porn addiction problem. If the problem is that they are viewing pornography online, you can do a lot to help them. First of all, get rid of the temptation. That does not have to mean getting rid of the family computer or canceling the Internet connection.

If your loved one admits to a problem and wants your help to overcome the problem, you can agree together to start by eliminating the easy access they have to porn online. Simply by installing an effective web filter (“porn blocker’), you can easily block out porn and sex websites from your PC. A web filter, such as Optenet PC, is a software solution, that you install and manage on your computer. It can be a fast and easy way to curb a problem that is just beginning or helping a serious porn addict eliminate the immediate access to porn sites.

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Dot-XXX Porn Finds a Home on the Web

The web will soon have its own red-light district. A new domain extension, Dot-XXX, is coming to a computer near you! Guess what kind of material this extension was expressly created to specialize in? If you guessed pornography, you guessed right. After seven years or more of squabbling and legal challenges, ICANN, the governing body for Internet addresses, passed a resolution that will allow the new domain extension to begin functioning sometime in early 2011.

ICM Registry out of Marina Del Rey, the administrator for the extension claims that over a hundred thousand names have already been pre-registered and another half-million or so are expected before the expected unveiling in early 2011. Many of these early buyers will be companies that want to be certain their trademarks are enhanced (porn.com) or unsullied (can you imagine Disney allowing a pornographer to control Disney.XXX?) by the new extension.

It will certainly make it easier for some to find the entertainment they desire; for concerned parents, at least, it will mean a chance to block an entire extension of less than desirable websites. While this enhanced ability to block sites may seem like an improvement in the system, keep in mind that porn sellers will resist having all their assets “ghettoized” (their term) and still want the maximum exposure (no pun intended) for their product: and sex.com will likely draw more flies than sex.xxx for some time to come. As one Internet pundit succinctly put it, “While all Dot-XXX websites may contain porn, not all porn sites will necessarily be Dot-XXX!” Parents don’t let your guard down.

Retired and Looking at Pornography: Porn and the Elderly

It’s easy to think of grandma and grandpa as being wrinkled and old. Too old to enjoy or even think about sex. But, most older people will tell you that their minds are still active and they are actively thinking about sex.

For sure, the muscles may weaken and the bones may become stiff and painful, but the mind can imagine just about anything. And, there is no limitation to the thoughts and memories of the elderly.

Grandparents, just like teenagers think sex is just fine. And, in our modern society, many tech savvy grandparents are using the Internet for more than looking up recipes for clam chowder. Older people often turn to the Internet for companionship after their mate has passed away. And, just like young people, they can become addicted to Internet porn.

Grandpa on the Internet

Internet porn sites are easy to find and many are free to watch. And, older men, especially, are quick to take advantage of the variety of Internet porn available today.

Since many porn sites are free, they easily fall within the budget of older men on a pension or Social Security. These sites offer an ever changing variety that will attract the male brain.

From the male’s perspective, variety is the spice of life. The male becomes tired quickly after having sexual relations with a single female. Just like reading the same old girly magazine again and again is simply boring.

But, the Internet is an entirely different matter. A male will revive quickly when presented with a new female. This variety is what makes Internet porn sites so stimulating and addicting for males. A new scene with new actors is presented to keep male viewers excited and glued to the screen.

Grandpa can quickly become so addicted to pornography on the Internet that he neglects household duties, social obligations, and simply becomes secluded in his chair in front of the computer screen.

And, variety can mean viewing hardcore and violent porn on the paid sites. This can easily drain grandpa’s savings and suck up money he should be using for food, medicine and clothing.

Grandma on the Internet

Some grandmothers are attracted to porn sites designed for women. And, some sites designed for older women are available. But, perhaps, like many women, most tech savvy grandmothers like to talk. They can find lots of senior chat rooms online. And, many elderly widows use chat rooms to talk with men. After all, what else is there to do during the day than to get into interesting conversations with men of a similar age?

In the faceless, anonymous chat rooms people often disclose personal things beyond what they had disclosed to their spouse within their marriages. A strong bonding take place. Often the chats turn to the feelings of loneliness and need for companionship. And this can easily lead to talk about sex. And, most women prefer this to watching actual porn sites. Better than reading romance novels, talk with a real live person is often more exciting.

But, talk often leads to action. And, meeting “friends” made in chat rooms is a normal occurrence. Sometimes these meetings work out in a great relationship. But, no matter how much conversation you’ve had, you really don’t know who is on the other end of the conversation. You could be talking to a molester who is enticing you with words you want to hear.

Seniors Beware

While age should endow one with some wisdom, the Internet is often so new and novel that older people lose a sense of perspective. Just as young men and women can be attracted to the Internet with its social and sex sites, so can older people. The brain’s pleasure centers and neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin work the same and it’s equally easy to become addicted to sex on the Internet.

Key Points You Need to Know Before Building a Porn Site

Are you one of the millions looking to make bank in Cyberspace? Well we all know that sex sells. Actually nothing sells quite as well as sex, right? Do you think you have what it takes to sell sex?

If you are reading this article then it means you have probably already decided to do just that!

So, you are about to embark on one of the most exciting career paths there is. You are going to become an adult webmaster. Guess what… You are not alone. It is estimated that there may be 70,000+ adult webmasters out there.

70,000 is a big number! Why do you think so many people are attracted to this line of work? The biggest reason has to be the money, the Benjamins, the $$$ signs that you will see as you sleep! Not to mention that you get to work from home, you will be self employed and you will spend endless hours spent enjoying stunning women (and men).

People from all walks of life are involved in the adult industry. These people range from college co-eds who realize they can earn more dollars from an amateur site than from being a waitress, to computer geeks seeking extra income, to those who aim to have a career in adult entertainment; it could be anyone.

There are students, retirees, attorneys, teachers, secretaries, and bums in this business. Single mothers who need to work from home so they can care for their children, and “disabled” individuals who are unable to function in a more traditional work environment. White collar, blue collar, red collar, black collar; every type of person is attracted to this industry…

You can make a lot of money in this industry, more money than is possible in your 9-5 position. It requires hard work, faith, and persistence but it all pays off.

Key Points

If you are motivated it is possible to have your first adult site online before the end of the day today.
Just because you have an adult website online does not mean that the money will automatically come in. You will have to drive traffic to your site also (don’t worry this is not difficult, and only takes an hour or 2 a day at first until you get your system automated).
The winning formula: Traffic=Sales=Big Dollars
Once you have one site automated and bringing in dollars, you can set up a second site in a different niche, get that automated and double your income, and so on, and so on.

Despite the differences of those taking part in this industry, we share one common trait: we were all newbies once upon a time. We all aspired to be experienced webmasters. If you are SO new to this business that you don’t even know what a newbie is, a “newbie” is “someone who is new to this.” A newbie is a beginner.

Don’t worry though, you won’t be a newbie for long. If you work hard and learn as much as you can you will be up and running in no time at all. Soon all of this stuff will seem simple to you.

50 Signs Your Partner Is a Porn Addict

The following is a list of 50 signs that your partner is a porn addict…

1. He/ she is taking their laptop or handheld device into the bathroom a lot and spending a lot of time in there.

2. Sex is dwindling. So is emotional intimacy.

3. When you do have sex he/ she is asking you to do more outrageous things – including anal sex and being photographed or filmed. You begin agreeing to do them – including bringing other people into your sexual relationship – in the hopes he/ she will want you more. You are beginning to feel like you are nothing more than a sex doll because you keep getting groped non-lovingly during sex.

4. Sex has disappeared altogether. You now beg him or her for sex when once it was the other way around. This is affecting your self esteem considerably. You blame yourself.

5. You find porn stashes hidden inside files called things like “taxes”, inside golf club bags or in the ceiling tiles.

6. He/ she has no empathy towards you anymore. The beauty between you has gone.

7. Little touches that he/ she used to give you are no longer there.

8. You feel like a dark entity has entered your home.

9. You begin to drive yourself crazy trying to make yourself more sexually desirable so he/ she will want you again and begin going on diets or having cosmetic surgery or other procedures. None of it works. You have an age complex even if you are in your 20s.

10. You hear your partner masturbating next to you in bed yet that person will not have sex with you.

11. Your partner’s mood is very changeable.

12. You begin to feel like you are an intruder in your own home because he/ she always seems to want you to go out and looks disappointed when you come home.

13. Porn feels like it has become “the other woman or man” – a third “person” in your relationship.

14. He/ she blames you for their porn use. Reasons range from “it’s because you are fat” to “you are not sexually experimental enough” – with everything in between.

15. You do things sexually with your partner that you feel degrade you just to keep his/ her sexual interest in you.

16. You have sex multiple times a day to keep his/ her sexual interest.

17. Subscribing your partner to porn sites or going to strip clubs with the person to be a “cool partner”.

18. Your partner is aroused by porn but loses arousal when touching you.

19. Your partner is unable to climax when having sex with you.

20. At times you feel like punching your partner in the face during sex.

21. Your partner is up porning until all hours of the morning and then again before work and when he/ she comes home.

22. Your partner is having webcam sex with multiple other people.

23. You sometimes feel like you want to have affairs to get even.

24. The person brings their Smart Phone to bed.

25. Looking at your partner’s computer search history horrifies you at some of the things the person has been looking at – like gang rapes, barely legal porn, gay and shemale porn. You question who they are and their sexuality as a result.

26. You tell yourself that it is you who is the prude. Your partner agrees.

27. Your skincare/ baby lotion has begun disappearing.

28. You begin finding your partner in very undignified positions.

29. Your children begin to find your partner in very undignified positions.

30. You find out your partner has begun using sex chat lines.

31. Your partner takes sexual photos of you whilst you are asleep or touches you sexually whilst you are asleep.

32. Sexual photos of you turn up on the Internet without your consent.

33. You feel like you are competing with porn performers.

34. You find sexual footage your partner has taken of themselves that he/ she has shared with other people online.

35. Your digital camera goes missing.

36. You find profiles of your partner on Singles sites or adverts he/ she has put into places like Craigslist looking for sex.

37. Your partner has huge mobile phone bills.

38. He/ she is having sex with prostitutes.

39. You have become a detective. It becomes a full time job. When found out, he/ she makes you feel like you have betrayed him/ her for snooping.

40. You begin taking revenge on their methodically organised porn collection.

41. Your partner blame-shifts everything onto you. Your mind is tied in knots.

42. Your partner calls you “damaged goods”.

43. He/ she tells you it’s your insecurities that are the problem not the porn.

44. When he/ she does not do porn for a few days, the person is very volatile emotionally.

45. Life has become an emotional rollercoaster.

46. You are constantly lied to and this is the thing which hurts you the most. The loss of trust often feels like a death.

47. You become obsessed with thoughts of their porn viewing.

48. Your partner is sacked for porning at work.

49. You find child pornography on your partner’s computer.

50. The police knock at your door and remove your partner’s computer.

There is only one thing certain with porn addiction – the fact that it will get worse… No addiction ever gets better by itself. Not ever.

100% Free Adult Amateur Films

The free adult porn market is pretty much thriving these days and more and more sites pop-up in this industry every day. The vids which they host are virtually mind-blowing and folks like them. On every single free porn page can be found a specific number of categories that will help you look for the vids that you like the most.

The grouping that in some way seems to turn me on is the Amateur. Amateur 100% free porn vids are simply astounding – there are no words and phrases in any way to explain a home made video with you and your girl making love in the craziest way possible. I absolutely am into these clips and i confess that I check out them once in a while. From them fresh approaches can be mastered for pleasing your lover better. All of these 20min clips can actually be considered as being educational vids from where you are able to understand how to do it much better, how to protect yourself and what things you mustn’t do during intercourse.

Almost all free porn amateur vids possess a little something exclusive that makes them one of the most wished-for. Looking at how unprofessional folks start kissing, touching, undressing, looking at them how they’re making real love – this stuff can’t be found in not one other free porn category and i also consider that amateur vids are worthy of the 1st place in any cost-free adult porn category countdown.

What I enjoy the most about free porn amateur vids would be the approach they’re done: through the help of a cellphone or a digicam or even using the webcam of the Personal computer or laptop computer. What I enjoy a lot more is the fact that all those people who have sex on the camera post their video on the internet, on specialized free porn webpages which host this kind of clips and can earn some cash from it… very cool! Try out such a vid on your own and hit me up – inform me what you think of it and from a scale from 1 to 10, just how great the amateur category is.

Escalating Porn Addiction and Criminal Thoughts

Pre-Internet, young addicts would steal porn magazines from the top shelves of newsagents. Post-Internet – according to my 2 years of research into porn addiction – this is tame compared to what goes through their heads to do to act out their escalating pornography addictions. Many are becoming deeply scared of their own minds and addictions. One man wrote “I have deep dark desires that I wish to fulfil which are even stronger than my porn addiction.” Another man wrote “I am severely depressed. I am now having horrible thoughts of hurting myself and my girlfriend and doing horrible violent things in general. I am 24.”

Depending upon what they have been exposed to in their journey through the bowels of Internet pornography determines what they soon begin feeling compelled to do next when they have become desensitized with purely legal acting out behaviors. Many addicts at this stage fear their next bender could tip them over the edge into doing illegal things as they begin to find it harder and harder to disassociate from the porn world.

It starts with relatively “mild” fears such as a 19 year old who wrote “I’m frightened I’ll become a pervert when I grow up. I’ve been doing porn since I was 14″ to older addicts writing things such as “I now want to see women urinating on toilets after seeing a lot of urine porn and am scared I will act out by setting up a camera in a women’s toilet”. Another (white) man wrote “It’s gotten to the point where I now fantasise that I am a white woman being raped by multiple black men as well as being one of the rapists too.”

One female porn addict wrote “It’s escalating now to an obsession with putting myself in dangerous situations so I can be raped”. Another addict who had a history of physical and sexual abuse and being degraded as a child had the desire to be “killed at the hands of a lover”.

Another 18 year old man wrote “Only drowning and suffocating porn can satisfy me now. I fear I will become a serial killer and I doubt my morality.” Equally as disturbing were the words of a young student who wrote “I’ve got to the point now where bondage videos are not violent enough to satisfy me. I sit in class and think of strangling the woman in front of me.” This man was understandably banned off the forum he wrote this on but my question is “what happened to him?”… Did he ever act out his thoughts?

Another tormented porn addict wrote “Until I saw bestiality porn, I had never wanted to be sexual with an animal. I loved animals and was brought up with them. Now I am acting out with my own dogs and want to put them up for adoption so I can stop this sexual abuse. I want to be able to view my dogs as pets – nothing more. They deserve so much better than this. I’m at breaking point.”

Other escalating pornography addicts become obsessed with being in risky situations like exposing themselves and/ or masturbating in public places. Some addicts will masturbate in back rows of theatres or picture houses or in their car when they stop at the lights. It gives them the arousal they need to be able to reach a new peak that ordinary virtual porn can no longer give them as well as giving them adrenaline hits their addiction needs. One man was being driven by his addiction to expose himself to 10-15 year olds. He wrote “I already do this with women although I pretend I don’t know they can see me. I cannot believe how damaged I am. It happens a lot when I am under pressure or stressed. If I don’t “do the deed” I get very agitated, angry and frustrated. When I do it I get relief but then shame and anger set in and I just want to lock myself away.”

Another addict wrote “I’m so worried about going to jail over all my sexual urges and ideas of the things I want to do. I’m still in school and sometimes masturbate on the bus when the urge comes on me and I can’t control it. I’m scared it will get me into some kind of legal trouble. I then watch porn all night long.”

Other addicts – after watching incest porn – have tormenting urges around family members. One 29 year old addict wrote after watching “mother and son” porn… “In my dreams now, my mother is breast feeding me. I’ve become fascinated with her breasts and am scared I’m going to act out on it and touch or grab her breasts. I also want to take photos and videos of her breasts.” Another addict wrote “I watch mother and son porn, daughter and father porn and sister and brother porn. I escalated to this and am now having intrusive incestual thoughts about my mother and other family members. I am scared I am going to act out on them. I tell myself this is the last time I am going to watch porn due to where it is taking me but I always fall back into it again – the porn. I am scared. When I was younger I was exposed to porn and re-enacted what I saw with another boy and why I am scared now.”

Another terrified addict wrote “Since being exposed to brother/ sister rape porn I have had thoughts about raping my sister. I am heading down a very dangerous and horrible road. I don’t want to be a rapist or a murderer and I certainly don’t want to do this with my sister. Now I feel incredibly awkward around her and have no emotional attachment to her anymore. I fear in the future though that porn will not be enough for me and I may actually rape someone. I really don’t want to be a monster yet I fear that may happen in the future. I’m now, as a result, having frequent suicidal thoughts.”

More disturbing is when severely escalating addicts begin to find that “adult” porn – however depraved – is no longer a big enough of an arousal to satisfy their addiction’s needs so move closer and closer to illegal pornography. One addict wrote “I constantly feel paranoid as some sites have questionable videos of what look like underage girls”. Another wrote “I take myself to the edge of legal porn and then am enticed to 100% illegal material via links that come without warning. The crossover is done in a second. There is, bottom line, no safe way to look at porn. I have to completely disengage. It’s evil shit and makes me feel suicidal… I am a compromised human who has abandoned morality. We click in our own chains while weighing down our souls by feeding off the poisonous digital imagery of unspeakable misery of the most vulnerable in our world”.

One addict on the edge of legal and illegal porn wrote this “I’m paranoid I’ll open the wrong page and get arrested as I’m paranoid I’m being watched by Big Brother. I’m paranoid I’m turning into a dirty old man. It’s no fun anymore.”

Another wrote “I don’t feel safe with myself anymore.” Their fears are because once the crossover has taken place to child pornography, they feel they have truly become “monsters”. One man wrote “I feel like a monster by who I’ve become. I AM a monster”. Another wrote “This addiction is starting to frighten me more and more. Today I googled “12 to 15 year old lesbians”. I now feel sickened and can’t believe I searched for it. Urges that can put these sorts of fantasies in your brain are pure evil.” Another addict wrote “It’s getting worse. The other night I couldn’t sleep because I downloaded something illegal” whilst another said “I’ve escalated to child porn. If I don’t stop I will end up in suicide. I was abused as a child too… ”

One man wrote “I’m beginning to stare at teenagers. I try my hardest not to but it’s tearing me apart. God spare me from my worst. This disease is the pits.” Another addict wrote “I started using porn when I was 7 or 8 and am now 41 and it is destroying my life. It started off with your every day run of the mill porn but in the last 8-10 years it’s escalated. I find myself drawn more and more to younger girls to the point where I search out illegal child pornography images on the net. I live every day in hell, fear and self loathing. I feel like an out of control monster.”

Another addict wrote “during more difficult times in my life, I need much more hardcore porn to get the same effect and I’m finding more and more that illegal stuff is in my head. My self worth is almost non-existent. I’m 18. I also pull my hair out and ignore hunger. I watch porn daily.”

And then one day, addicts become desensitized to child pornography too and begin fantasizing about acting out with children. One man wrote “I’m beginning to get really strong urges to act out. Unless I get control of it soon I’ll end up in prison.” Another addict wrote “I role play in chat rooms where I talk about hitting young girls while they’re being raped. Every time I finish I’m always ashamed but then I dismiss it because it’s the Internet and there’s much worse stuff out there but I still feel weird. Daily I watch incest porn and violent sex porn like rape. I’m also attracted to 12-13 years olds now too. Not a soul knows about my dark secrets and all my friends think I’m completely normal.”

Professor Gail Dines, Professor of Sociology at Wheelock College in Boston, who has studied both pornography addicts and the pornography industry for decades and is author of the book “Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality”, interviewed a number of men in prison who had committed rape on children and found that all the men were habitual users of child pornography. Dr Dines said in an interview with Julie Bindel of The Guardian (2nd July 2010) “What they said to me was they got bored with “regular” porn and wanted something fresh. They were horrified at the idea of sex with a pre-pubescent child initially but within 6 months they had all raped a child”.